In this solo episode of Keepers of the Mats, Ron steps away from the usual guest format to explore a book that’s had a lasting influence on both his personal life and approach to training — The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. What begins as a reflection on personal development quickly becomes a look into how these timeless principles show up every day on the mats.
The lessons in this book — to be impeccable with your word, not take things personally, avoid assumptions, and always do your best — mirror the same mindset that drives growth in Jiu Jitsu. They’re reminders that progress isn’t just physical. It’s built on awareness, honesty, and the discipline to keep showing up even when things get hard.
Our words shape our world. The way we speak to ourselves and to others can either build confidence or destroy it. Being impeccable with your word in Jiu Jitsu means staying true to what you commit to — showing up when you said you would, keeping gossip off the mats, and speaking to your training partners with respect.
It’s also about how we talk to ourselves. When you replace “I’m not good at this” with “I’m improving every time I show up,” you change the story you’re telling your mind. Words carry weight, and in Jiu Jitsu, the ones you repeat most often shape your growth more than any technique ever could.
On the mats, it’s easy to get caught up in emotion. A coach’s correction, a tough round, or a partner tapping you faster than you expected can feel personal — but it rarely is. This agreement reminds us that people’s actions are reflections of their own experiences, not judgments of our worth.
When we learn not to take things personally, frustration turns into understanding. We can focus on what’s real — learning, adapting, and growing — instead of carrying unnecessary weight. This same mindset keeps us grounded when we receive praise too, reminding us to stay humble and keep doing the work.
Assumptions are one of the biggest causes of conflict both on and off the mats. We assume what our coach meant, what our partner’s intentions were, or why someone didn’t invite us to open mat. The truth is, most of the time, it has nothing to do with us.
The cure for assumptions is curiosity. Ask questions. Communicate clearly. If you’re confused about a position, a drill, or an expectation — speak up. Clarity builds trust, and trust builds stronger training relationships. When we replace assumptions with communication, we create a culture of respect and understanding.
Your best won’t look the same every day, and that’s okay. Some days you’re sharp and full of energy; other days, simply showing up is the win. Doing your best means being intentional with your effort, respecting your limits, and finding joy in the process.
In Jiu Jitsu, that might mean drilling instead of sparring when you’re tired, listening to your body when it needs rest, or focusing on the small details that move your technique forward. Progress doesn’t come from perfection — it comes from consistency, grace, and the willingness to keep learning.
The Four Agreements teaches us that freedom comes from awareness — from recognizing the beliefs and patterns that no longer serve us and replacing them with ones that do. When we bring that same awareness to Jiu Jitsu, the mats become more than just a place to train. They become a mirror reflecting who we are, what we value, and how we show up for ourselves and others.
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